Archive for the ‘Random Utterances’ Category
Time Passes
On the 14th day of the 6th month of the 1,974th year, Tommy is born.
Time passes.
His development as a human is in no way abnormal: at 2 months he starts cooing and smiling. By six months he turns his precious little head towards the sound of his mother’s voice as she sings along with the […]
Architectural Digest
Tim, with a note of incredulousness creeping into his voice, is recapping.
“So - let me get this straight.” he pauses to take a sip of beer. “In the past four weeks, you’ve slept with five women, two of whom have previously declared their undying love. You’ve had a threesomes, involving one of those lovebirds and […]
sss.
Sarah was my first.
She still haunts me to this day. Especially when I stand staring into my bathroom mirror, razor dripping in one hand, and lose focus. The feeling of slowly divorcing from reality and from myself and staring at the reflected half-shaven stranger is almost more terrifying than the knowledge that the marks she […]
The Story of Max
This is the story of Max.
You know him well - his tricks, his thoughts, his nasty little habits. Maybe you grew up with him, or shared an illicit smoke behind your school, or maybe made out in the back of a car, or got in a fight at a bar, likely over a girl - […]
Harry Kromer, Cut/Copy/Paste King
harry kromer is the cut/copy/paste king.
harry kromer, rumour has it, is double-jointed in his right thumb.
harry kromer employes thirty four cut/copy/pasters, who he refers to as his princes and princesses.
harry kromer has saved you millions of dollars in cut/copy/paste time.
harry kromer, when not at work, drives a red mustang and wears socks that match the […]